A tiny love letter to not yet

It’s okay to want something else and not to know what that is yet.

I miss so many things, but more than anything, I miss the in-between stage being part of our culture.

I miss feeling focused, purposeful, and aligned.

And it’s absolutely okay if I don’t force myself back into that.

The combination of geographic distance, the aftermath of our collective experience these last few years, and a massive. dose of life on life’s terms has me suspended in a liminal space.

Maybe it’s age, maybe circumstance, maybe I’m just a dark rain cloud, but I remember life not feeling like…this.

And while I can accept that life won’t be what it was or what I thought it could be, I’m wondering if this disenchanted fog will ever dissipate.

And sure, that sounds like a depressing take on things, but more than that, I’d say I was simply uninterested.

The armchair pathologizers will say, “Then do something radically different.” As if immediate reactive action is the same as a powerful inner knowing. As if craving something without having it yet is worthless.

I also wish more people were talking about it.

Because not everything is a problem to be instantly solved.

You haven’t failed in the process of learning, deconstructing, questioning, or being uncertain.

Uncertainty and discomfort will take you places.

And in the meantime, you just get to meet yourself over and over and over again.

And the curious you, the one who wants things, the one who questions things, is just as worthy as the version of you who goes out there and eventually gets them.